12 years ago I was a young girl who met a Marine, fell madly in love, and 3 months later married him. I had no idea what kind of world I was stepping in to. The sacrifices from me on a constant basis were completely oblivious to me.
I wasn’t completely blind, though. I did know that my husband belonged to the Corps. I knew that when the Corps said move, we moved. When the Corps said go, he would go. I knew it was my job to always stand behind my husband and support him 100%. Basically, to shut up and put up. I know that sounds harsh, but if you really think about it that is basically the truth of the military wife’s role. If you can’t handle supporting your husband, putting him and his respective branch and their needs above your own at all times, then you are not going to be able to handle this life.
So I decided to dive in head first and be one of those few and proud OOHRAH wives. My husband was my world and our universe the United States Marine Corps. I put on my apron, laced up my boots, and became full on a military wife. Friends from my past became more and more distant. My hobbies and interests got pushed to the back-burners and the fires got cold. Every 3 years I picked up and moved where my husband was sent and found a new job all over again, adding another notch in the belt of my resume. And? I did this all with a smile and a heart full of love. I did this. I chose this. But what I didn’t realize as I was being the happily dutiful wife was that I was slowly losing who I was as a woman and person.
It hit me during my husbands recruiting duty, in 2009. I was pregnant with the girls, and had been a mom for a little over 2 years. So not only had I given myself my all to my husband, I was now dedicating just as much of me to my babies. I needed to do something that was all mine. A way to be me, express me, for me. So, I started blogging as SemperFiMomma. The problem with this was that, in the end, what I was still doing was circling myself around the military life. I had, have, become so accustomed to establishing myself as ‘Mrs. Military Wife’, that I thought that was now where my strengths lied. And, while that may be true the point of this is that I am in fact more than just a military wife.
It hit me again, HARD, when we moved to Camp Pendleton. I literally felt lost. Like I just didn’t know who I was as a person or woman anymore. And you know what? That is really a very truly empty and slightly terrifying feeling. Now, don’t get me wrong. I love my life. I have the soul of a gypsy and love moving every 3 years. I am proud of my husband, the Marine Corps, and all that comes with the package. But I am an individual and know that I need to focus on my own personal loves and passions that are tied to just me. All women need to. It’s part of what makes us women. Us. What fuels us. Drives us. Keeps us human.
So, to keep myself from rambling on too much what I’m saying here is… goodbye. While I will always be the OOHRAH Wife, and always, very passionately, stand beside and support my husband, I must have parts of me that are separate from that. I must work, and concentrate on, reestablishing myself as an individual and woman. I know that to successfully do that I must let go of SemperFiMomma.
Thanks again for being my readers and supporters! I’m excited to start the New Year off in a new direction with shiny new dreams, goals, and ambitions.